The Reality Of Ramadan
I don't want to just observe Ramadan, with all its rules and regulations, I want to experience this month. I want the reality of Ramadan to be alive in my heart
Yahya Abdul Rahman
October 6, 2005: As I begin my 13th Ramadan fast I feel the need to somehow move beyond the mechanics of this sacred month- the thou shalts and the thou shalt nots - and attempt to discover what the real deeper purpose of this month is. Yes, of course, observing Ramadan is an act of obedience, a means of purification, a source forgiveness and a path towards achieving taqwah (God conscienceness) - I understand these matters on an intellectual level - but I am hoping to go beyond this.
Am I looking for something that is already there in front of me, or is there something more? Maybe Ramadan is a way of finding my center. Islam, I am taught, is the middle way and extremism has nothing to do with the Islamic faith. I can easily be pulled from one extreme to another but somehow these extremes never feel natural. They seem almost forced and do not originate from a deep seated conviction residing within me.
It appears that in the prescribed exercises- in this case the fast of Ramadan - there are lessons to be learned, but I am too caught up in the mechanics to comprehend them. Maybe I need to break the month down into its component parts, examine each one of them separately and then piece them back together and endeavor to see the larger picture. In short, I don't want to just observe Ramadan, with all its rules and regulations, I want to experience this month.
Hunger, thirst, sex - these are all primarily physical needs. For many in this world obtaining food and drink is a daily struggle, while for others they have an over abundance of these things and they take them for granted. As I sit and write these words I am comforted and thankful that I have plenty of food in my cupboard with which to break my fast. But this is not the reality for many Muslims who are fasting at this very moment. They experience real hunger every single day of their lives and yet they are still called upon to observe the fast of Ramadan. Perhaps for those in such circumstances there is a special test, and for me, in the circumstances I find myself in, there is also a special test. Am I thankful? Am I charitable? Am I reminded that but for the grace and mercy of God there go I, and that everything I hold dear - health, possessions, loved ones and security - could be snatched away from me without even a moments notice? Are my food and drink Halal and acceptable to my creator? Am I mindful of the fact that I will be asked by God about that which has been entrusted to me? The Prophet Muhammad said:
"Each of you is a keeper or a shepherd and will be questioned about the well-being of his fold. The head of the state will be questioned about the well-being of the people of the state. Each man is a shepherd to his family and will be answerable about every member of it. Each woman is a shepherd to the family of her husband and will be accountable for every member of it. And each servant is a shepherd to his master and will be questioned about the property of his master." (Bukhari and Muslim)
These are some of the many questions I ponder over. I hope that as I reflect upon these things, deeper lessons and insights into the meaning of Ramadan will come to me.
When God calls on me to do something it is His way of asking me to prove my love for Him. Do I really love God, or do I secretly resent the requirements placed upon me? Is my declaration of faith sincere? Will I hear and obey the call of the one who gives me breath to breathe or will I just ignore this call?
My fast is one way I can prove my love and sincerity towards my creator. I hope that He accepts my deeds and forgives me. In fact, I have great expectations of my creator and I must always think the best of Him even when I do not always understand the wisdom behind what He destines for me and those around me.
My body is tired and my heart becomes filled with discouragement, but something deep within tells me that there is a lesson to learn and if I am patient the knowledge and understanding will come and with it the reality of Ramadan will be alive in my heart.
Oh keeper of hearts, keep my heart steadfast on your religion so that I may know and understand what is required of me and that a true appreciation of what it means to submit to you will calm the temptest within my ever-searching and ever-restless heart.